My supernova.

Words. That was all it took for you. I’ve read many beautiful things in my life, but nothing quite like you. I find myself reading your lines over and over again, getting lost in the intricacy of your sentences, trying to untangle your metaphors.

Not one to get swept away easily but you are a tidal wave, and I am helpless. You came without a warning, shaking the world I knew around me. I can still feel the sting of sea water in my lungs. I’m still drowning.

His smile – my god, his smile. No matter how many times you tell me that you do not like it, nothing will change my mind of its beauty as my eyes trace the curve of your cigarette-stained lips whenever you talk about your hopes and dreams.

Your silhouette is my favourite shape and your skin is my favourite colour. Most people love the waves at the beach, but I prefer the ones in your hair.

Most people say that love is passionate like a raging fire, but you have taught me differently. Love is not an uncontrollable spark – it is sitting by the hearth, feeling the warmth reverberate through your body in the middle of a cold winter night. It is the silent humming of the earth amidst the hustle and bustle of busy city streets. It is not fancy dates and expensive gifts; It is comfortable silence and finding happiness in existence.

My biggest fear in the world is also the thing that I am most in love with: the unknown, the idea of what is out there in the universe. We’re nothing but dust and atoms to a world beyond our atmosphere. We’re insignificant, and that is how I have learned to see most people.

When a massive star runs out of fuel, it collapses inward under the force of its own gravity. This is the last stage of the massive star’s life, whose dramatic destruction is marked by one final titanic explosion. Gravitational collapses are a fundamental mechanism for structure formation in our universe. It is the gravitational collapse of a massive star that triggers a supernova.

And darling, in this galaxy of mine, you happened like a supernova. For a brief moment, my entire world was outshone by your radiance. I saw nothing but light. I was in fear, for this was nothing like I’d ever seen before. But this fear did not stop my quivering heart from getting captivated by you and all that you are.

For the longest time, I thought I was on a journey towards an unexpected beyond. I keep looking for a place to belong. I don’t know what I’m looking for, but I’m going there. In the process, I’ve been hit left, right, and centre by debris that knocked me off course, but somehow you’re always there to catch me.

That’s when I realised that in this universe I’m travelling in, you’re not the destination neither the journey. You are the universe – one that I belong in. And no matter what hits me, you’re always engulfing me. I’ve stopped looking for an imaginary destination. I’ve learned to let go and appreciate your limitlessness.

Together, we’re explosive. But fear not of this magnificent cataclysm, for the most gorgeous shows in the skies are results of violent fusions.

Shafiqah Othman Hamzah

Shafiqah is a Singapore-born Malaysian who is best known for her advocacy on social and human rights issues. She is notably known for her tweets and for being a columnist on Malay Mail.